Posts tagged ‘catholicism’

Manpower to empower man

Vatican must make use of temps to solve their priest shortage.  How experience in the fast-food industry helps:

Randy Nelson, a recently hired temp priest at St. Joseph’s Cathedral in Miami, said he was initially nervous about celebrating mass in front of a large congregation, but soon got the hang of it.

“I was a little intimidated on my first day because I had no idea what I was supposed to do during communion,” said Nelson, referring to the transubstantiation of the Holy Eucharist, a miracle he is expected to perform at each mass in order to transform earthly bread and wine into the Most Precious Body and Blood of Christ. “But basically I just have to pour some watered-down cabernet into the gold cup, wave my arms around, say some stuff about God, and give each person in line one of those wafer things.”

“It’s really not all that different from a fast food gig,” Nelson added. “Except maybe the uniforms here are a bit more humiliating.”

via Priest Shortage Forces Vatican To Hire Temps To Deliver Sacred Rites

Or the sacred sacrement of penance:

Ben Rosenthal, 23, who is a newcomer to Catholicism, said the most interesting part of his job is administering the Sacrament of Penance, because while sitting in the confessional he hears “all kinds of shit you wouldn’t believe.”

“My friends were totally cracking up when I told them how Doug Merchant confessed to having impure thoughts about his next-door neighbor’s daughter and was almost caught masturbating in the bushes outside her window,” Rosenthal said. “I feel like I should probably call the cops on some of these people, but during orientation they told us we would get fired if we broke the Seal of Confession. So I just make them say a lot of Hail Marys.”

But once again, it’s the court jester that gets to the deep truth:

Despite receiving numerous applications from qualified women with extensive knowledge of Church doctrine and advanced degrees in theology, the Vatican continues to oppose female ordination.

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October 23, 2009 at 10:38 am Leave a comment

He’s Steele the GQ!

I know the new head of the Republican party will be voted out soon, but I’m starting to take a liking to him. He really is trying… but he is trying to do the impossible.

Continue Reading March 19, 2009 at 10:52 am Leave a comment


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    We speak with Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor about the new collection of essays she edited that is titled "How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective." Taylor is an assistant professor of African American studies at Princeton University and the author of "From #BlackLivesMatter to Black Liberation."
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  • Headlines for January 19, 2018
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  • "It's Even Worse Than You Think": David Cay Johnston on Trump's First Year in Office
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  • David Cay Johnston: Trump is Determined to Provoke War to Draw Focus from Racist & Erratic Behavior
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